How My Love of Travel Cured My Quarter-Life Crisis
Life Half Full was started at one of the lowest points in my life. In March 2020, while on a quick 6-day trip through Bavaria I knew I wasn’t where I wanted to be professionally or personally. For years I had been sitting in an office in a job I didn’t want, in an occupation I wasn’t invested in, feeling like I was doing nothing to benefit myself or the world around me. The, What the hell am I doing with me life and how the hell did I let myself get here??? moments were very, very real.
And so in the picturesque, snow-kissed mountains of Salzburg, Austria I knew I was ready to quit my job. I boarded a plane on March 16, 2020 with full intentions of heading home, putting in my two-weeks’ notice and frankly figuring my shit out. But (and we all know where this is going) as a global pandemic began to rage across the world my job security became more important than ever. And so began the longest year of my life. Living in a turbulent time suffering from a debilitating quarter-life crisis doing absolutely nothing to change my circumstances.
My Quarter-Life Crisis, festering during a global pandemic
A quarter-life crisis isn’t something many young people openly talk about. For a long time I knew I felt trapped but I struggled to articulate what was wrong and how I wanted to change my circumstances. Honestly, I thought being overwhelmingly bored and depressed at your desk job was just adulting. I’d become so placid about my career. I wasn’t growing professionally or personally and I was just stagnant. Existing. As someone who was always a high achiever, it took a huge toll on my mental health.
In addition, for years I had felt like I grew best when traveling. Sitting at a 8-5 desk job that I didn’t enjoy just added fuel to the quarter-life crisis. I travel so much because I find incredible joy in the experience, and that joy translates to newfound ideas and values. This idea that we are only “allowed” to exist in a state of ecstasy when someone else tells us we can has always challenged me. There are only so many days each of us has on this earth and only a fraction are allowed for personal growth?
What is a quarter-life crisis?
For about a year and a half I didn’t know what to call it. I wasn’t necessarily depressed in the traditional sense but I was most certainly professionally drained. Then, after a lot of weird Googling I stumbled upon this academic journal that helped me understand what I was going through. I’m sure I found it through a search like, “not depressed but not happy with work” and “sad young midlife crisis.”
In summary, people go through five phases of a quarter-life crisis. First, they feel trapped (what the hell am I doing moment). Then, they realize they need to change their circumstances. Next, they actually change those circumstances and start to “rediscover” who they are. The final two phases are where you start anew, beginning your next chapter of your life and discovering your passions.
The way out of a quarter-life crisis is finding your why. What is making you feel trapped? How can you overcome it? For the better part of two and a half years I was stuck in phases one and two because I couldn’t quite articulate what I wanted to change. I was just a stuck, sad almost thirty-something who knew she wanted to experience more but didn’t know how to. But then one February 2021 day I told my husband I was over being sad and ready to make a drastic change. That was the start of a new chapter, and one of the best decisions I ever made.
The Three Lists that Changed My Life
In the weeks following my February meltdown, I worked on three lists: What I Like, What I Know, What I’m Good At. I spent this time to really contemplate what I can offer society. I took the project really seriously and put a lot of time and thought into it. At the start of the exercise I knew two things: I wanted to utilize my creative skills in a more active way and I wanted a career that would allow me the flexibility to travel more frequently. For two and a half years I sat around with no clear direction. But then these three lists changed everything. The activity helped me articulate what I could offer and gave me some positive affirmation about myself for the first time in years. What came out of the project is what you see today, Life Half Full.
What I learned during that exercise is that no matter the level of uncertainty around me, my desire for exploration was stronger than anything else. Though I started out just wanting a more creative job that allowed the flexibility to travel, what I learned is that I love travel more than the average person. All over the lists were phrases and notes about travel. I’m passionate about sharing my love for travel – especially budget travel – with anyone who will listen. I had known I enjoyed it for years but I never expected this to be my strength that could change my life’s trajectory. I also had a lot of experience in saving money when traveling ($12,000 in four years, in fact).
I built some confidence about my skills that I felt were undervalued in my day job and gained a lot of creative skills over the years that were super useful to launch a brand. And had some degrees and coursework I felt were underutilized. Finally, I was able to put those skills to use.
I took a lot of time to figure out how I wanted to tell a meaningful story to the world. I wanted to do it right the first time. So finally in May 2021, with with little more than a couple hundred dollars, hundreds of hours of work and a dream Life Half Full was born.
What I’ve Learned
First, I want to be clear that nothing is as simple as this blog makes it sound. I’m still struggling and I’m doubting myself more than someone with my level of self-confidence would ever like to admit. Right now I think I’m still in Phase 3, “rediscovering” who I am. I’d like to say that launching Life Half Full fixed all my problems. It didn’t.
But it does bring me more joy than I’ve felt in years and I’m excited to work on it everyday. Even on the bad days I want to share my love for travel with you. If that isn’t a sign that things are looking up then I don’t know what is.
And though I’m still in a career I’m ready to escape from, I’ve managed to take control of my life. Which, in a lot of ways, has helped me grow more than I have in years. I still work in a job with little flexibility. And sure, I expect my full-time job situation to change. But having something to look forward to that I absolutely love has been more rewarding than anything.
My Advice
I’m no therapist. And in my opinion I am the worst person to ever offer you advice. Plus, my advice is probably going to come across as silly. But here it is:
Find something that truly makes you happy and go for it.
I know… lame. But it’s true! And since it’s so artificial I want to be clear that just because it makes you happy doesn’t mean it will work the first time. Your “find something” could fail miserably but it also could be the best thing to ever happen to you. For me, when I launched Life Half Full I wanted to ensure I did everything right the first time for the best chance of success, but I also went into it knowing that my mom might forever be my only reader. For me, that was okay. My happiness was just in sharing my story and trying something new.
In Closing…
If you made it this far you probably are looking for an answer to your quarter-life crisis, too. And I can’t be the answer to yours. But, I know that I’m coming out the other side a more confident, well-rounded person. I’m taking more risks than I have in my entire life and I even got my nose pierced. I’m trying new things (which, for a pretty well-rounded traveler is saying something) and I’m exploring who I am in the process.
For me, “what’s next” isn’t as important as building a life I’m excited about every single day. I’m fortunate to have a super supportive spouse who encourages my projects (and crazy ideas). And I’m so humbled and encouraged by all the kind words my readers and followers offer me daily. I’m doing this because I love budget travel and it’s brought so much happiness to my life and it’s just awesome to see that it is impacting your life, too.
So I’m going to keep exploring because it’s the best way I grow. And I encourage you – if you’re struggling with your own QLC or not – to see more of the world. It’s the best way forward.
Explore on. -K
